Ep 41Gambling's Dirty Secret Revealed
Where are the prettiest hotels in America? Built on dummies like you
Rabbi Joey Haber & Dovid Kohn
Gambling's Dirty Secret Revealed
with Rabbi Joey Haber & Dovid Kohn
Gambling is set up for you to lose.
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Quotes
“No one does anything for free. They gave you that room for free because they know they'll let you keep your $300 and lose 30,000.”
“If you flicked it away in the beginning, you never would have dealt with that mountain.”
“You're allowed to need help. It's okay to ask for help.”
“It's my relationship with that behavior that's going to determine if I develop a problem.”
“We're always wobbling as human beings and our goal is to wobble less.”
“All is never lost, all is never hopeless.”
Takeaways
- 1 Since a 2018 Supreme Court ruling opened sports betting nationwide, betting ads and apps are everywhere, and teens even bet on yeshiva league games.
- 2 Rabbi Haber traced how a $5 win on Super Bowl boxes can grow step by step, through March Madness, fantasy leagues and Vegas trips, into losing $80,000 of savings. Two weeks later his wife found their savings gone and told him to leave: the money for their house down payment was lost.
- 3 Casinos and betting companies are built to win. Free rooms, rides and opening bonuses are bait.
- 4 Fantasy football consumes whole seasons for about a 10% chance of winning, and many young men run two or three teams.
- 5 Chazal describe the yetzer hara as a passerby, then a guest, then the master of the house. The time to stop it is when it's still 'a hair.'
- 6 About 2-3% of people develop severe gambling disorders, but a much larger middle group has a problematic relationship with gambling that GA and rehab often don't reach.
- 7 Kohn separates 'action' gambling (thrill, crowds) from 'escape' gambling (numbing, like slots or phone apps), which can lead to 'brownouts' where time and money disappear.
- 8 Trading, crypto and NFTs aren't gambling in themselves, but some people use them that way. Young men, whose emotional reasoning matures in their mid-20s, are most at risk.
- 9 The frum community may be more exposed to other money problems (overworking, compulsive spending, even compulsive giving) because of high costs and privacy about money.
- 10 Money is one of the least discussed topics in therapy, even though it drives a lot of stress and shame.
- 11 People can change at any point. Many who recover reached an inner decision to shift, and it's fine to recommit after a failed try.