Ep 64I Asked a Rabbi for Life Gems and Monetary Guidance — His Answers Blew Me Away (feat. R' Aryeh Lebowitz)
The father who went into debt for two weddings, and what he did at the third
Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz
I Asked a Rabbi for Life Gems and Monetary Guidance — His Answers Blew Me Away (feat. R' Aryeh Lebowitz)
with Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz
If everyone behaved the way I'm behaving and it was plastered on the front page of the newspaper ... Would that be good for the Jews or bad for the Jews?
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Quotes
“God has what to say about what happens when the guy at 7-Eleven gives you extra change.”
“Costco is not running a gemach ... What they're running is a business.”
“If Walmart has to change their return policies because we're taking unfair advantage of it, what does that say about us?”
“If a person did a job for me today and they finished their job before nightfall, I have to pay them today.”
“A lot of times it will save you more than you think to just let something go.”
Takeaways
- 1 Choshen Mishpat (money law) is a full quarter of the Shulchan Aruch. It applies to everyday business, not just the study hall.
- 2 To start asking money questions: read real-life case books (such as Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein's), start with your local rav, and don't worry about embarrassment.
- 3 Halacha has built-in leniencies for major loss or pressing need. They are part of the system and depend on the whole situation.
- 4 Backing out of a sale because the price went up (the Kobe Bryant poster case) ranges from untrustworthy to possible theft. Keep your word.
- 5 Buying something to use once and return (a TV for the Super Bowl, a laptop for finals) is deception (geneivas daas), even toward non-Jews, and can cause chillul Hashem.
- 6 Pay workers and vendors the same day (bal talin) unless there is an agreement or clear industry norm otherwise. Don't hold back pay because you are unhappy without asking a rav.
- 7 State fees up front. A shadchan's fee is a real brokerage fee; if it wasn't agreed, the community's going rate applies, which is hard to pin down.
- 8 Weddings matter but should not mean debt. Affordable all-inclusive packages let one father become "a giver instead of a taker."
- 9 Use the front-page test: if everyone acted like you and it made the news, would it be good for the Jews?
- 10 In a dispute, don't ask your rav who is right after telling only your side. Ask whether you would have a case if your facts are accurate. Letting go often saves money, stress and relationships.