What children really want is not luxuries, not indulgences. What they want is an authentic relationship with their parents.
More moments · 10
Ep 89What children really want is not luxuries, it's an authentic relationship with youRabbi Moishe Bane
▶0:49
What children really want is not luxuries, it's an authentic relationship with you
Ep 89"Bain, you're not a nice guy": why his sons chose to sit with him in shulRabbi Moishe Bane
▶1:09
"Bain, you're not a nice guy": why his sons chose to sit with him in shul
Ep 89Do you recommend credit cards to your kids? "No. It's a poison."Rabbi Moishe Bane
▶0:45
Do you recommend credit cards to your kids? "No. It's a poison."
Ep 89The one thing children won't forgive their parents forRabbi Moishe Bane
▶0:50
The one thing children won't forgive their parents for
Ep 89Why a wealthy person shouldn't give away more than 20%Rabbi Moishe Bane
▶1:25
Why a wealthy person shouldn't give away more than 20%
Ep 89Your household is a company: revenue, expenses, and profitRabbi Moishe Bane
▶0:49
Your household is a company: revenue, expenses, and profit
Ep 89"How are your sales skills?" "I don't know." That's the problem.Rabbi Moishe Bane
▶1:25
"How are your sales skills?" "I don't know." That's the problem.
Ep 89Listen to what a person says about others and you'll know his valuesRabbi Moishe Bane
▶0:50
Listen to what a person says about others and you'll know his values
Ep 89The number one problem with parenting today: we contract it outRabbi Moishe Bane
▶0:58
The number one problem with parenting today: we contract it out
Ep 89Guilt is a very non-Torah emotion. Regret is what you want.Rabbi Moishe Bane
▶1:12
Guilt is a very non-Torah emotion. Regret is what you want.
Try this · top 3
Quotes
“I call that the big lie ... I'm working ... 90 hours a week for my children. Come on, that's not for your children.”
Rabbi Moishe Bane
“You have to look at your household income and your household lifestyle like it's a company.”
Rabbi Moishe Bane
“Children do not learn from their parents by being told by their parents. They learn from their parents by being modeled by their parents.”
Rabbi Moishe Bane
“Guilt is paralyzing ... Regret is, I'm going to learn from my mistakes and I'm going to do it differently.”
Rabbi Moishe Bane
“If you can't pay at the end of the month, you shouldn't be spending your money.”
Rabbi Moishe Bane
Takeaways
1 Separate income for living, wealth building, and lifestyle. Rising income shouldn't mean rising spending automatically.
2 Overspending hurts even people who can afford it. If high earners didn't scale lifestyle to income, pressure on everyone would drop.
3 "It's for the kids" is often an excuse to spend on ourselves. Kids want your time and attention, not luxuries (the fishing-trip diary story).
4 Kids learn money values from what you do and what you praise at the table - not from lectures. Let them see you skip an indulgence you could afford.
5 Once you have enough, point your drive and stress at family, community and spiritual goals instead of more money.
6 Any job is holy when it supports your family. The more successful you are, the more you owe the community - in money and in leadership.
7 Replace guilt with regret: learn from mistakes and change. Kids forgive a lot.
8 Judge decisions by the quality of the process, not only the outcome.
9 Know yourself before choosing a career: sales ability, stress tolerance, strengths. Switching careers at 40 isn't too late; short-term debt to retrain can be good debt.
10 Parents, not schools or shuls, are responsible for teaching davening, middos, love of Judaism and money values.